Sermons

Defeating the giants in your life VIII

11 July 2010

Leonard Held was a highly respected, middle aged, lab technician who had worked @ the same Pennsylvania Paper Mill for 19 years.
Having been a boy scout leader, affectionate father, a member of the local fire department & a regular church attender & was admired as a model citizen in his community… until one brisk October morning in 1967.
A proficient marksman, he stuffed pistols in his coat pockets, drove to work & began shooting with a calculated frenzy.
He filled several co-workers with 2 or 3 bullets apiece, firing more than 30 shots… killing some men he had known more than 15 years.
The community was in shock as you might imagine.
Puzzled policemen pensively put the pieces together.
Deep in the heart of Leonard Held was the giant of resentment.
Though he looked great on the outside…
on the inside there was intense hatred.
The investigation discovered that several victims had been promoted over him, while he had remained in the same position all those years.
More than one person in his carpool had stopped riding to work with him because of his reckless driving.
There was also an incident he had with a neighbor about a fallen tree.
You might say he was brimming with resentment.
The caption to the article in Time magazine from November 3, 1967 had just 3 words, but told the whole story:
Responsible. Respectable. Resentful.
“Resentment is the accumulation of unexpressed anger”
Gary Ingrid tells the story of a man who was bitten by a dog…later discovered to be rabid. The man was rushed to the hospital where tests revealed that he had contracted rabies. At that time, medical science had no solution for rabies & the Doctor faced the difficult proposition of telling this man his condition was incurable & terminal.
The Dr. said, ‘Sir, we will try to make you comfortable, but we cannot give you false hope. There is nothing we can really do. My best advice for you is to put your affairs in order as soon as possible.’
The dying man sank back into his bed in depression & shock, but finally he rallied enough strength to ask for pen & paper.
And he began to work with great energy.
An hour later when the Dr. returned, the man was still writing vigorously.
The Dr. said, ‘I’m glad you’ve taken my advice. You must be working on your will.’
‘This ain’t no will Doc,’ the man said. ‘This is a list of people I’m going to bite before I die!’ ”
Resentment turns us into angry, bitter people.
Let’s take a look @ what resentment is & then how to defeat the giant of resentment.
Resentment is not specifically mentioned in the Bible.
And yet, in the ‘Love Chapter’ I Corinthians 13, the 5th verse, Paul describes agape love, God’s love, this way, ‘Love thinks no evil’. (NKJV)
Today, you’re going to get a Greek language lesson absolutely free.
The word for thinks in Greek is λογιζομαι.
Say it with me. (Lo-gidz-o-my)
λογιζομαι is a word for bookkeeping, keeping a ledger of credits & debits. It means to calculate or reckon.
That’s why in the message paraphrase it says that love ‘Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others’. (The Message)
You’d use this word if you were placing an entry into a ledger & the purpose of placing an entry into a ledger is to keep a permanent record of that information.
The word is used in other places in the New Testament, but in a positive way for those of us who are Christians.
Romans 4:8 “Blessed is the man to whom the Lord shall not impute (λογιζομαι, calculate, tabulate) sin.” (NKJV)

II Corinthians 5:19 “God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself. Not λογιζομαι-ing (imputing) trespasses to them.” (NKJV)
Aren’t you glad that God doesn’t λογιζομαι (keep a record of) our sins?
He forgives us & He blots our sins out of the book.
In business, would you agree that it is important to keep a permanent record?
But in personal relationships, keeping records is devasting.
Love does not take into account the wrong that is done against us.
Love does not keep a record…
it does not λογιζομαι them…
You may be surprised to learn that in the Bible, there is an account of someone who had resentment…
King David… the man after God’s own heart!
In I Kings 2:5-6, when King David was dying, he was giving Solomon some last minute instructions & said…
“And there is something else. You know what Joab son of Zeruiah did to me when he murdered my two army commanders, Abner son of Ner and Amasa son of Jether. He pretended that it was an act of war, but it was done in a time of peace, staining his belt and sandals with innocent blood. Do with him what you think best, but don’t let him grow old and go to his grave in peace.” (NLT)
How sad is this?
This happened to David & his men years ago, but he had stored it up in his mind.
He’d never let it go after all those years.
Unable to take revenge himself, he passed on his resentment to his son.
Whatever you do, don’t let him die in peace.
That is what resentment can do in a person’s life.
And that’s the problem with resentment… it never stays the same.
It grows like a cancer…
it distorts our perception of reality.
Like pollution, it contaminates everyone in the environment.
Hebrews 12:15 “Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble and by this, many are defiled.” (NKJV)
Research proves that resentment is expensive.
The psychological case for forgiveness is overwhelming when you compare it to the individual burdened with bitterness.
It is hard to enjoy today if you’re carrying around yesterday too.
Can I get a witness?
Today is hard enough without carrying yesterday.
Do you know anyone who is eaten up by bitterness & resentment?
Lewis Meads “Forgive and forget”
Herman Engle was a German General in WWII & was sentenced to 30 years in prison for atrocious war crimes.
He survived his sentence & was released from prison.
He built a cabin in the woods & intended to live in seclusion for the remainder of his days with his wife (in France I believe).
In the story, there is man by the name of Morrieaux, a French journalist, who was waiting in the wings. Morrieaux’s entire family was executed by Engle’s troops during the war.
And when the Nuremburg Court did not sentence Engle to death for his war crimes, Morrieaux had sentenced Engle to death in his heart & determined to carry out the sentence @ his 1st opportunity.
The resentment had been boiling for those 30 years. Morrieaux stoked up local villagers near Engle’s cabin to the point they were going to storm the cabin & burn it down & shoot Engle & his wife to death that very night.
But there were a couple of things Morrieaux did not know.
So, being a journalist, he wanted to fill in the blanks.
As a journalist, he wanted answers to the questions he had.
He went to Engle’s cabin the afternoon before he was to die.
Morrieaux introduced himself & told Engle who he was.
Engle was quite shaken & Morrieaux spent the afternoon grilling the General about all the village massacres.
But Engle’s attitude confused Morrieaux.
He was having trouble reconciling his vengeance & this old, reflective & feeble man.
Toward the end of the afternoon, Morrieaux blurted out to Engle that the villagers were coming that night to kill him & he offered to lead Engle out of the woods & save his life.
Engle paused & said, “I’ll go with you on one condition.”
Morrieaux was confused again by this man… after all, how do you give conditions on being saved?
Morrieaux said, “What condition?”
Engle says, “I’ll go with you if you will forgive me.”
Forgive? Morrieaux had killed Engle a 1000 times in his mind!
Morrieaux was willing to save the man’s life, but forgiving him was too much to ask.
That night, the enraged villagers came with sacks over their heads, burned the cabin & shot Engle & his wife dead.
Can you explain to me why forgiving Engle was harder for Morrieaux than saving his life?
I think it was too much for Morrieaux because he didn’t know how to live without his hatred.
Hate did not belong to him… he belonged to his hate.
And the tragedy of the story is the forgiveness he could not give to Engle could have set Morrieaux free.
There is always a price to pay for resentment.
While there is still time…if you harbor resentment against someone that you have never dealt with…
why don’t you decide today… while there is still time… by the grace of God… to deal with it, before it deals with you.
How do we defeat the giant of resentment?
I’m so glad you asked!

Step #1: think it through
Do you know why some people harbor resentment against others?
If you harbor resentment, you feel superior to them.
After all, it’s fun to fantasize plots of revenge.
As you rehearse the pain, it gets embedded in your heart & mind.
Think it through.
Is it worth carrying the resentment?
Is the price of your resentment worth paying for?

After you think it through…
Step #2: write it down
What are you supposed to write down?
Write down why you are filled with resentment.
Some people are resentful & can’t even say why.
If you’re filled with resentment write it down.
You will find that when you write it down on paper & read it out loud, it will sound a lot different than it sounds in the echoes of your mind.
You will find that what you read out loud is not exactly corresponding to what you’ve been thinking in your mind & dealing with in your heart.
I promise that you’ll look at it, think about it, differently.
Then put it aside for a few days & come back to it.
I am filled with resentment because ______________.
If you know what it is, then write it down now in your bulletin.
If you don’t know, ask the Holy Spirit to direct you.
He will point out to you what you cannot pin point.
Dr. David Seamands in his book “Healing for Damaged Emotions” tells the story of Charlie Steinmetz, p.23.
Steinmetz was a dwarf, ugly & deformed, but he had one of the greatest minds in the field of electricity that the world has ever known.
Steinmetz built the great generators for Henry Ford in his first plant in Dearborn, Michigan. One day those generators broke down and the plant came to a halt. They brought in ordinary mechanics and helpers who couldn’t get the generators going again. They were losing money. Then Ford called Steinmetz. The genius came, seemed to just putter around for a few hours, and then threw the switch that put the great Ford plant back into operation.
A few days later Henry Ford received a bill from Steinmetz for $10,000. Although Ford was a very rich man, he returned the bill with a note. “Charlie, isn’t this bill just a little high for a few hours of tinkering around on those motors?”
Steinmetz returned the bill to Ford.
This time it read: “For tinkering around on the motors: $10. For knowing where to tinker: $9,990. Total: $10,000.” Henry Ford paid the bill.
The Holy Spirit knows where to tinker.
Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what you need to know about yourself, and then to guide you in your prayers.
It is amazing what can happen when you get honest about your feelings & ask the Holy Spirit to ‘tinker’.
Charlie Shedd had a fight with his wife & when he came home there was a note to him on the refrigerator: ‘Dear Charlie, I hate you. Love, Martha.’
That’s the kind of honesty we need to have with ourselves & others.
Step #3: work it out
A man who had been married 50 years to the same woman was asked the secret of their marital bliss.
“Well,” he said, “it’s kind of like this; when the wife & I got married, we made an agreement that whenever she was bothered about something she would just tell me off, get it out of her system. And if I ever got mad at her about something, I would take a walk. I guess you can attribute our marital success to the fact that I have largely led an outdoor life.”
I’m not suggesting that every time you get ‘torqued’ off you need to run a 5k, but evidence suggests exercise can take the edge off & keeps it from backing up.

Step #4: talk it over
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
You can talk to great & godly friends about the matter, but there is no one I know who can put things into perspective like the Lord can when I talk to Him about what is troubling me.
Tell the Lord in prayer what you wrote on the paper.
Lord, I am filled with resentment because ______________.
It is good to tell the Lord stuff like that & He’s not going to be shocked because He already knows all about it.

When you have resentment in your heart, more than anything else you need in your heart, you need grace.
You need His grace.
We can forgive because God has forgiven us.
Sing #297 “Grace, grace, God’s grace”.
If you have not accepted God’s grace for your sin, then it will be very hard for you to forgive someone else.
But if Almighty God has forgiven you for all of your sin… out of the depths of His forgiveness for you, there is always enough to reach out to those who have wronged you.
Talk it over with the Lord!
Tell Him how grateful you are for His forgiving you.
When you think about His forgiveness, you’ll start to understand that His forgiveness of you is the same grace you can use to forgive others.

Step #5: you gotta’ give it up
Don’t hang onto it… you give it up.
2 boys were playing arguing one day & they had this big fight.
Johnny said, “I ain’t never playin’ with Bobby ever again. I’m so mad at him. I don’t ever want to see his face again.”
The next morning, he got his baseball glove & put his hat on & was going out the door & his mother who remembered what he’d said the day before said, “Johnny, I can’t believe it. You’re going to play with Bobby? I thought you said you were never going to play with him again.”
Johnny said, “Oh, me & Bobby is good forgetters.”
That’s what we need to be… good forgetters.
We carry grudges because we choose to.
You may remember when we studied the Lord’s Prayer that the only subject mentioned twice is forgiveness.
Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
And then at the end of the prayer, if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your heavenly Father forgive your trespasses.
The way to deal with resentment is through forgiveness.
(And sometimes the person we need to forgive is ourselves.)
God has forgiven us & when we forgive others who have done those things to us, we demonstrate that we belong to Him.
We have the traits of the Father in us!
It is the only way you can explain some of the forgiveness I have heard about.

Steps to defeating the giant of resentment…
Think it through, write it down, work it out, talk it over, you gotta’ give it up
May I ask, is there anyone you don’t like & you hate to run into them?
Whenever you see this person, you get real uncomfortable & your blood sort of boil or you feel ill?
Maybe that is someone you have resentment towards & you need to deal with it.
Maybe you treat someone poorly in your life because they remind you of the pain you feel when you were wronged… those are tests you can take to indicate if you harbor resentment towards someone.
If you’ve been deserted… Jesus knows how you feel. Pretty much all of His friends left Him in His greatest hour of need.
If you’ve been hurt, beaten or cussed… Jesus knows how you feel for He experienced all that & more on the cross.
If people who say they are religious but haven’t been exactly Christian to you… Jesus knows how you feel. The religious people of His day hated Him & sold Him out.
No matter what your resentment stems from… Jesus knows how you feel.
And it was on the cross He desires to set us free.
Free from the hurt… the pain… the betrayal…
Whatever you wrote on the line that says, “I am filled with resentment because __________”, Jesus knows how you feel.
And He wants to heal you, but all starts with forgiveness.
Don’t wait.
Do it today.
God has given to us this wonderful privilege of forgiveness.
And when we forgive, resentment goes away.
You see, it is only when we realize that we are sinners & that He has reached down in His grace through Jesus & forgiven us & that he has done that for us, then we can do that for others.
But it all starts by accepting His forgiveness for your sin & asking Him to become your Savior.
If you’re in doubt, your unwillingness to let Him rule in your life is an affront to Him because He created you & He loves you & He has paid a dear price for you.
But when we ask for forgiveness, He does it.
Freely, unconditionally, eternally.
And then out of that forgiveness, we can deal with the resentments we face in our own lives.

Topics: grace, repentance, resentment

Books Referenced: 1 Corinthians, 1 Kings, Hebrews, Matthew

Names Referenced: David, Jesus, Paul